3 hours to construct, copyright, edit and post...
The craziness of the road to recovery/rehab means I also have less time than the average Jane Do;
- 7 hours less daily plus an average of another
- 2 hours gone to and from Medico appointments
- Constant calls received & made regarding my case & treatment
- Whatever time I can spend marketing and getting my business back for Now and Future (No Wages are being replaced by the TAC) I feel sort of punished for running own business - if I had been working for someone else with a payslip at the time of collusion apparently would be different! I still have to make it another year before I have my impairment case then after that is sueing for delayed treatment pain & suffering, action against other bodies & then the attacking taxi driver lastly
...Which means buggar all time & energy to developing maintaining my social life/relationships & sometimes with weeks like this one gone Im lucky to even get through the above
For those who don't know I was diagnosed with & am battling PTSD... (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) a year ago following a deliberate blatant attempt on my life I shouldn't have physically survived... (Read profile story for more info)
The attack left me with 17 injuries to date, major physical damage &
it costs me daily, 5 hours of rehabilitation to have the ease of movement to walk & function that others take for granted daily... Still long way to go...
I'm a trainer nutritionist and athlete so to maintain/get back muscles built or maintain what I can I have to invest an 2 hours of the 7 hour training/rehab daily...
I also own my own business as a principle trainer coach &
have to build it from scratch again which isnt easy when you have already lost 7 hours to training 2 hours to set aside for medico appointments plus the sometimes constant calls backwards n forwards lawyers what not...
I'm on my own with still coming; years of malpractice, lawsuits, litigation & battles to fight...
I believe those factors interfere with the recovery from PTSD for you are constantly under attack on a daily basis & literally have to fight for your life & rights constantly...
Its been a year since that day 21st March 2012...
I was not prepared for this week n a half of sleepless nights & flashback on slaughts but am linking them to the fact that conditions/matters out of my hands & beyond my control are subconsciously reminding me that Im still under attack & still have to fight! I can see were this natural reaction to life death situations can lead to depression...
Im isolated from my country & family & would love to jst get away LOL but am forced to say here & battle on.. On my own...I really couldn't tell you how mentally Im pulling & will come through BUT somehow I know I will...
What's frustrating is your told to socialize to help cope with PTSD but how can you when you have to do all the above to physically recover?? Great in text book but not tangible reality. I will figure it out... Keyword being I LOL =D
Anywho's right now, I'm chilling, catching up on sleep and cooking a storm +D At the moment...
Very happy with a glass of Raw full cream Milk & 4 Yoga cookies I made, editing these files & watching Midsummer Murders... Hmmm need a home facial whilst i soak n the tub I think...
Looking forward to tearing chest & delts up tomorrow Easter Sunday...
Thank you so much for staying with me through this and I look forward to my first hand experience & future hindsight into debilitating PTSD & if that will help any of you sufferers or any inspiration/insight others may gleam from my battle/experience
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| Crazy diary and good food |
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| My pretty little girl!! |
Mission this week - Get sleep pattern back, 4am starts again and RAW egg shakes
Xx Namaste
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